Lessons in Influence (Part 1): Holy crap, did you see that!

The first principle of influence is to get and hold people’s attention (I show you 7 ways to do this below).

Often this ‘attention’ is attracted by outlandish or shocking tactics, the kind that make you exclaim, “Holy crap, did you see that!”  And this does work.  But often times you can get and hold someone’s attention simply by telling a compelling story in a quiet voice.  How you do it isn’t as important as how effectively you do it and how deeply you can hold their attention.

Keep in mind also that not all attention is good attention, and we’ll get to that in a very specific and important blog post that is coming up soon.  And that’s why …

It’s only good attention if it achieves what you want.

If you do not have someone’s attention, then you cannot convey the value of your idea. Attention is the first stage of all human behaviour change. Despite the millions of bits of information we receive each day, our brain is able to bring certain things to our attention – and you need to be one of those things.

It makes sense to have a plan about what you are going to do with the attention once you get it.  What is the desired outcome.  In the broadest sense the aim has to be a lasting connection with people.  I might hire a sky-writing plane on a blue sky summer day, and fly over the beach suburbs casting a message for every one to see – and therefore grab the attention of thousands of people – and yet build no lasting connection with them at all.

The key take home here is don’t pull attention grabbing ‘stunts’ if they don’t create long-term attention and lasting connection with people – unless, of course, you’re just doing the stunt for fun.

7 ways that you can grab and hold someone’s attention

Use these ideas in your conversations, writing, or video creation this week and let me know how you go.

1. Deviation

In order to use this technique, the first thing you say or write has to deviate from what the audience is expecting.  It doesn’t have to be controversial, although controversy can fit into this category.

For example, let’s say you’re about to give a presentation and everyone has read your speakers bio and have naturally put you in a ‘box’.  Whatever it is that they’re expecting you to say when you first stand up, say something different, say the opposite – say something that shifts them from their expectation.  If you were giving a presentation on property investment, you could start by saying “property investment is completely over-rated”.  Or if you were at a BBQ and everyone was talking about a particular sports star and why she’s successful, you could chime in and say, “I think another reason she’s successful is actually …” and give a reason that no-one is expecting or has considered.

Each of these example’s will more strongly grab the audience’s attention, because it’s not what they’re expecting.  Some call this the ‘surprise’ factor, other’s call it a ‘pattern interrupt’, I’ve just always called in The Deviation, and there are multiple ways to use this approach.  In fact, I’ve used this in scientific presentations I’ve given.

Normally, when you turn up to a meeting with a group of scientists, you stand at the lectern, and there are some very standard expectations around what you’re going to do.  Everything from the slides you’ll use, the words you’ll use, the clothes you’ll wear, the structure of the presentation – it’s all very standard.  If you want to grab attention, deviate from the standard, even in a small way.

Let’s analyse the last scientific presentation I gave.  The first thing I did was to stand out and away from the lectern.  This alone was a deviation from normal.  The first slide I put up was my expected scientific title, but I had a very casual sub-heading – another deviation.  The very next slide was a complete deviation from normal: I had a photo of myself and told a story from way back that helped to explain how I had come to be involved in the project I was about to describe.

So, the first three things I did in this presentation were all deviations from normal.  The feedback from one of the Professor’s at the end was, “…as thoughtful and engaging as I’ve come to expect from you Nic”.

Clothe’s can achieve a similar effect.  If people are expecting you to wear a certain type of clothing, wear something slightly different that expected and you’ll achieve the effect of The Deviation.  Of course, all of this can backfire if the deviation is too large or just not acceptable.  You want to grab people’s attention, not put them offside.

You can, however, take the deviation so far that it becomes weird or bizarre – but is still effective.  Being weird definitely gets attention.  Sometimes, in order to break through the noise, you just have to do something that puts people out of their comfort zone in order to grab attention.

What I’m talking about here is something so unusual it might not even seem related to the idea you’re going to share.  It’s just completely left of field.  I’ve seen street performers use this.  They do something completely extravagant or bizarre in order to generate a crowd, and then they get into their show.  The streaker on the cricket or football pitch is another example.  Other examples include:

• Email subject headlines that are outrageous and nothing to do with the real subject of the email – just so people will open up
• Speakers who start with an unbelievable story that’s unrelated to their topic – just to grab attention
• Coaches or trainers who break up their workshops by getting people to do activities that break social norms

Deviations are incredibly powerful, especially when they are layered on top of each other, and if they are used sequentially, so that there are a continuous stream of them.  This technique alone can hold an audiences attention for a very long time.

2. Alarm

Maslow described the hierarchy of people’s needs, with basic survival and safety needs being our first priority.  This means anything that threatens these survival and safety needs will likely grab attention by activating the ‘Alarm’ system in our brain – and then we can’t help but pay attention to it.

Just yell out the word “Spider!” and watch what happens.

This is classic journalism too.  If you listen to the news or read the paper and you’ll see ‘Alarm’ headlines everywhere.  What categories can you use?

• the air we breathe
• the food we eat
• the water we drink
• our homes
• our clothing
• our sleep
• our finances, business and employment
• our health
• our family
• our community stability and freedom

These are just some of the topics that will grab attention because we place a high value on these things and they have high importance.  There are many more topics – but you don’t need more topics to get benefit from this post – you just need to chose one or two of the one’s I’ve listed and use them.  Then you’ll get benefit.

3. Magic Wand

This one is almost the opposite to ‘Alarm’.  If you could wave a magic wand and give people what they really want, they’d pay you a lot of attention.  Instead of being a threat, this is aspirational.  For example, one of your mates really wants tickets to a show.  There’s none left.  You turn up and announce you’ve got a spare ticket – d’ya think you’ll grab attention?

Of course, this all sounds basic – and it is – but if it’s so basic, then why don’t people use this on purpose, and more often, to have more effective influence?  It’s the modern day marketers approach of finding out what people want and then giving it to them.

This is Google’s business model and it’s been working pretty good for them since 1998 – and more specifically, Google has held our attention.

To get someone’s attention, let them know that you either have what they want, or you know how to help them get what they want.  Use images that show or portray what they want.  Make your appearance reflect what they want.

4. Story

If you’re still reading this, then I’ve been able to hold your attention.  Notice that I’ve already touched on a number of stories in this post so far.

• the story of the sky-writing plane
• the story of the streaker (I only had to mention this, and you knew the story)
• the scientific presentation
• the mate who wants the ticket that you’ve got
• the Google story

Every night at our place, my kids love me to read them stories.  And the stories they like are about good versus evil, love and romance, happily ever after, the underdog, the rescue, the hero, the mystery, the challenge.  Stories get people’s attention, there’s no doubt about it.  I’m a natural story-teller, it’s one of the reasons that I’ve been influential in my life.  Some people are much better than me at story telling.  Other’s not so.

But forget about others – all that matters is your ability to tell stories – and I guarantee that you can use this more than you’re using it right now.  Use stories in your conversations.  Use then in your writing.  Start a conversations with, “So I was …” and tell a short story that has an ending that fits right in with the idea you’re trying to convey.

In a recent issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association, two professors make the point that despite all the new scientific evidence regarding health care, the reason that the ‘science’ doesn’t make it’s way to the public very effectively is because it is communicated with ‘facts’ and not with ‘narrative’.

So, skim over this technique or dismiss it at your own loss.  The lack of story telling by the scientific and medical community could be one of the main reasons that good science takes so long to make it into the hands of the public.  I could go so far to say as the lack of a good story could be a matter of life and death.

5. Secret

I’ve got an admission.  I used to despise the use of this technique in marketing.  The ’7 secrets to success’ or ’10 secrets to a happy life’.  I specifically did not read the book ‘The Secret’ because of the title.  As it turns out, the secret wasn’t a secret at all.

Anyway … two things happened that revived my understanding of this powerful influencing factor.  First, I’d forgotten my childhood.  As a kid, secrets were very powerful.  If someone knew something that I didn’t know, it would arouse great curiosity.  If I saw someone telling secrets, whispering, or sharing ‘knowing looks’, I just had to get in on it.  I had to know ‘the secret’.  I see this now with my own kids, and I use secrets to great effect.

Try this.  ”Hey kids, get into bed and I’ll tell you a secret”.  Bam – they’re in bed all eager to hear.

There’s one major ingredient in all this that has to be present in order for it to work – and if this ingredient is missing, it will fail dismally.  In fact, the lack of this ingredient is exactly why I had come to despise the use of this technique.

You actually have to have a good secret.  If you don’t have a good secret to share, then people will feel embarrassed that they allowed curiosity to overwhelm them for nothing of value.  If I don’t have a good secret to share with my kids, then next time I use that technique, they wont believe me.

So, use this with caution.  If you don’t actually have a good secret, and it is just a lure, then you must still deliver something of value so that the person feels as if their curiosity was justified.

6. Be worthy of attention

If what you’ve got is worthy of attention, then you should have some attention – right?  And if you’ve got attention, then this will attract more attention.

This is the conclusion people come to when they see that someone has attention.  The very fact that other people are interested in you is a cue to them that they should at least take a look.  Granted, I’m just describing an everyday experience.  If you see your work colleagues all hovered around someone’s desk, you want to know what’s going on.  If you see a few people staring up at something, it’s very difficult not to look as well.

Even though we’re all familiar with this principle, my challenge has been how I can use it in small, effective ways throughout the day, to get attention and increase my influence.  One thing I’ve tried with my kids is to find a Youtube video of something that I’d like them to do – it’s social proof that other people are doing this thing, whether it’s singing, playing guitar, exercising – whatever behaviour I’m trying to influence my kids to do.

Why it works?  Because the video proves that other kids are already paying attention to the very idea I’m trying to sell to my kids.  The academics call this ‘social proof’.  You can use this, like I do, with kids, or you can use it on stage, like I do, in front of hundreds of people.  You just need to help people understand that other people are paying attention to you, or your ideas.

7. Reverse Attention

Reverse attention is where even though you’re the one who wants attention, you get it by paying attention to the person you want attention from.

Even though I’ve listed this last, it can be one of the most important techniques if used correctly and in the right context.  An obvious context where this works is dating.  If you want attention from someone, then pay them attention.  And if you pay them attention, you will hold their attention for as long as you’re paying them attention.

In other words, don’t talk about yourself, brag about yourself, and bore them with stories that they don’t want to hear.  Instead, ask them open ended questions about themselves.  Their opinions.  Their stories.  If you notice something about them, mention it.

I’m sitting here typing this post and my son is on the lounge playing his wii.  He’s not paying me any attention.  I know that all I have to do to completely enter his world and have him totally engage with me is quietly sit next to him, and mention something about what he’s doing.  Ask him what his current challenge is.  Notice if he’s doing well, or finding it difficult – and straight away I’m in.  Imagine if I then looked up Youtube to find a solution to his challenge and said, “hey, you wanna know the secret to this level?”.

This is combining reverse attention with secrets.  These two combined are powerful enough to get me a deeply connected audience with my son.

What you can do now that you’ve read this

The main content of this post is in the 7 ways you can grab someone’s attention.  If you read and remember anything from this post it’s that section.  Knowledge is merely interesting until it is applied.  So, even if you’ve read my 7 ways and it’s not new information, I’d still encourage you to look at how you communicate in your life – be it your personal life or business life – and figure out how you can use these 7 techniques more effectively.

That’s the evergreen nature of studying influence – you will never master it – you will only get better at it.  After you’ve used at least one of these techniques, please come back here and leave me a comment to let me know what you did and how it worked out.

And if I could ask one small favour … we need to let Google know that I’m sharing information about this stuff.  I can rant and rave all I like, but the way we can influence Google together is if I write and then you click on the Like button, the Tweet button, and the Google +1 button.  With three little clicks we can send a signal to Google about this information.  Ta.

Tagged as: advertising, attention, conversation, influence, Marketing, pattern interrupt, stories